The Musical Internet Wars and why we wage them (a list)

1. Relative anonymity makes us bolder. If you had a friend who hypothetically was madly in love with Moe and the Lawns*, you might feel uncomfortable telling that friend outright that they suck, even if you really felt that way, because society has taught us to spare the feelings of people we like even if it means sacrificing brutal honesty, so it's perfectly normal. Suppose, though, that this immense hatred builds as it is bottled inside you, and you need an outlet for it. You may go out and search for others who are of the same opinion. But that isn't nearly as fun or as satisfying. So you go on Youtube and attack the masses. Trying to take people you don't personally know down a peg is much nicer than insulting your IRL BFF, right? It doesn't even matter if you construct a logical argument! Awesome!

2. Our likes and dislikes make us different. And we pride ourselves on this, no matter what it may be. Being in the majority makes us all feel unimportant, if only slightly. But some people need to exercise and publicize their differences, as if expecting praise for them, be they 11 year old Beatles fans shunning the mainstream in their own small way**, or the teenager always in search of the indiest of indie fare. We're all hipsters at heart, the credo that popular = bad engrained in our heads.

3. Furthermore, people who like popular ("bad") music are brainless sheep, and we, of course, are intellectually superior to them. We must show them the error of their ways, 'tis only a service to the brainwashed pop music-listening community.

4. Thirdly, and most importantly, according to this credo, even people who like the same band we do like them wrong. They like them for superficial reasons, or like them only after having been exposed to them through some mainstream outlet, or don't like them as much as we do. All very, very wrong, indeed.

I've never understood the huge fuss people make over music. We all have likes and dislikes (see #2), but I'd venture to say everyone likes some kind of music. And the experience is the same: the urge to dance, sing, hum, smile. The feeling that certain lyrics are so applicable to our own lives and situations it's scary. Liking a certain melody for the simple fact that it sounds good. These things are universal, and no one has the right to harp on that.

Footnotes:

* Nerdfighter in-jokes, anyone?

** Nevermind that in their heyday the Beatles *were* 11-year-old-girl mainstream, and they don't particularly seem to be becoming less popular with time.