Vita, it's like we share a brain. (Online slumber party part 2)

I was, honestly, considering writing about this before I read your post, and now you've convinced me I can because it's more like commiseration now instead of awkward unprompted soul-bearing.

I also experienced my first "real" crush about a year and a half ago. (Still practically a spinster when it comes to school age mind-romance.) He was in my Spanish class* freshman year, let's call him Atticus.** I developed a friendly, do-you-know-what-the-past-subjective-of-ser-is sort of relationship with him and his friend, Guillermo. This past year, Guillermo and I reunited with him on the bus for a Spanish field trip. More awkwardly quiet friendliness throughout.*** Guillermo (ever the sarcasm-er and general semi-dick) tells me the next day that Atticus likes me. I don't question him, letting this statement stew in probable-but-not-certain mutual likedom. Stupid move.

During this year and a half I also developed a "safer" crush, i.e, The Completely Godlike Unobtainable Founder of a Band. (not the school band, a Band.) (He shall be called Lars.) Whether or not this was to subconsciously take my mind off The Obtainable If I Tried remains to be seen. The more I thought about it, though, I liked Lars in an "I greatly appreciate your general beauty and singing ability" way and not the more complex "I would really like to engage in intelligent conversation with you over hot chocolate, with occasional sarcastic jokes and/or Doctor Who quotes" way I liked (still like) Atticus.

To complicate matters, Atticus was my best female friend's (because everyone else got a codename and I know she'd want one, heretofore referred to as Stella.) childhood neighbor and friend (childhood as in way before I met either of them), his mom and her mom are best friends, her mom has unofficially adopted me. His mom and I are friends through them, and recently (ie yesterday), the four of us drove up to Wisconsin to have an actual girl-to-girl, secret-bearing slumber party. At night the conversation drifted to the subject of romance, especially the romantic histories of the two of us who are single. Cue my paranoid "Are you bringing this up because you can sense I like your son?" glances at his mother. Stella knows all about this whole situation and I'm sure she found it hilarious.****

(Un?)-Fortunately, there's a 96% chance Guillermo, Atticus and I will be placed in the same Spanish class AGAIN. (Also, his mom might be my brother's special ed aid. But that's cool. She's a genuinely nice lady, but I really don't want to admit to her that I've liked her--equally socially awkward--son for a year and a half of my young life. I have a feeling she'd be happy about it and try to set us up.)

* Honors level. I never thought I'd say this, but it's really, really attractive to me that he's in more honors and AP classes than I am. (Looks don't hurt either, but primarily, he's a socially awkward nerd--and I do not mean that in an insulting way--so my mental attraction to him is high. Even better, in a twisted way, he's in the highest level courses for subjects I can barely understand, like precalc. But that might just be my respect and awe for people who can do math, because I still struggle to multiply two-digit numbers in my head.)

** I codename people what I want.

*** Guillermo suggested we'd make a cute couple. Fuck you, Guillermo.

**** I don't know if you've found this or read it but in case you are, I'm glad my misery entertained you, bitch.