I don't know what I'm doing. That's a lie. A more accurate statement is I don't know where my life is going and I have no idea how to figure it out and it's making me a bit anxious or ansty or just lame.
Hmmm. Like, I do stuff. Sometimes. I read novels and make pumpkin pies and drink chai tea lattes and protest economic injustice. But a lot of the time, I don't do much. I tumbl[e?]; I sleep in; I... read novels. I almost wish I went to school because then my idle activities would be working towards something, even if it was just matriculation.
Maybe I don't have to know right now. That's nice, comforting, to think I don't have to have a plan or goals or whatever. But also worrying, you know? "What's the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?"*
I need a goal. This is one of the main reasons I decided to do NaNoWriMo this year, albeit in a way not endorsed by NaNoWriMo.
Anyway, I'm just drowning in a bit of self-pity because I am kind of awful at relationships and communication in general and my life doesn't appear to be moving me towards anything, or at least not at a discernible rate. When I think about it, I'm a pretty horrible Hufflepuff. I'm much too self serving and lazy.
I should get on with it. Finish my book (Irma Voth by Miriam Toews--really enjoying it), get some sleep. I'll keep you guys posted on my encounter with Maureen Johnson. And I'm curious: what are you guys being for Halloween?
dftba.
*from An Abundance of Katherines by John Green.
1 comment:
I still have no plans for Halloween, which is sad, but given that I have several friends who also have no plans, I am counting on them appearing at some point over the next three days -- anyway I've decided that I will be a "sexy book" for Halloween. Take that as you will. HATERS GON' HATE
Also -- and I realize this sounds a lot like self-promoting but I don't mean it that way, really (sob) -- I think my newest post kind of addresses your mini self crisis, at least in a roundabout way. STAY STRONG
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