Look Ma, I is growin'!

"'Cause twirling is my thing."

I don't know what your feelings are on Taylor Swift. I think I may have talked about her in at least one of my blogs on here in the last last year and a half (!). Anyway she's released a new album recently and I have kind of been obsessively listening to it for the past three days. I think it's really good and I love how I feel like I've seen Taylor Swift grow over the past couple years. She's like my far off friend who I have a small amount of contact with and I love her because she's a hopeless romantic who is always falling in and out of love. And she's sweet but I hate how much she can pine over guys and I feel like I know her but I don't really.

It's like I get to watch her change and evolve from afar without actually knowing what's going on in her life.

When I was at a friend's this weekend and we were sitting around her kitchen table and singing along to Taylor Swift's songs, some new and some old, she said to me "I thought you hated this song."
I seriously didn't know what to say. Fancy though. I replied after a second that I sing along to all of them but it unsettled me. I didn't know if it was an accusation or just a confused outburst or what.

I thought about it. For the next ten minutes, I considered myself hating the song*, what that meant and why I gave such a strong impression that I disliked it that much. But the actual thing I realized was not about the song but just about the fact that in the past year since my outburst**, I've changed a lot. What previously might have been hate has turned into casual indifference and a lingering sadness that some of us feel helpless to seize the reality we want. And while twelve months ago, her comment might have really bothered me with its judgmental tone and implications, today I can calmly leave those hurt feelings at the door and move on.

The other thing about her album is that, on her website, she posts a small bit of back story on each song. It's not extremely specific, she doesn't say which song is about Taylor Lautner (though she didn't really have to), but it clears some things up. I'm torn about the idea of this because as addicting as it is to listen to the song while reading the lyrics and then get her explanation afterwards, it takes the song away from me, the listener. Because if John Green is right and books belong to their readers, don't songs belong to their listeners? Shouldn't a piece of music be about whatever you feel when you listen to it? When the musician actually gives you a play by play of what emotions are expressed in their music, I feel like it not only takes the listener out of the music but kind of dumbs us down, like we're not intelligent enough to figure out what the song means on our own.

But that's just me, the girl who, about fourteen months ago, seemed to hate a couple of Taylor Swifts songs.
I'm mostly undecided now. About a lot of things. But Taylor and I are growing together. Her songs and my blogs are a pretty good record, I think.

*which I believe was Teardrops on My Guitar and, if you're interested in my opinion, I simply think it's sad that a girl would spend so much time and energy wishing that a boy would see her in a romantic light. It's just so sad and I can't help feeling like she's indulging the feeling by spending more time to write songs and sing about it. But I'm unforgiving and I guess if she needs to let those feelings out publicly, she can feel free.
**So there was a rant in which I complained that she is pathetic and slightly cowardly and she should move on or say something to this guy. I suppose this could have left some people to believe I hated the song. What I really hated though is what the songs stands for which [in my humble opinion] is standing by and waiting for things to happen to you rather than actively being the leading lady of your own life. I hate the idea that girls have to let things happen to them, especially romantically, rather than take control of their situations and act. And maybe that's why I get so passionate about it.