Dog Days are Over

I'm seriously concerned about the quality of the food that has been introduced to my inner digestive tract over the past week or so. I can't remember eating decent food between the hours of 3 pm and 12 am, save for dinner at around 6 pm. To complicate matters, over the past couple of months, my coffee intake has somehow zoomed up from once every couple of weeks to every day. I mean, I realize some people drink coffee multiple times every day but I don't want to be one of them. Unfortunately, I enjoy the taste of coffee. This is a problem because ever since I started Psychology and learned about, like, brain malfunctions, every minute twinge of discomfort in the upper half of my body qualifies as cause for alarm. Therefore, I'm convinced that I'm going to have a heart attack if I continue on like this. My mind jumps immediately to what I ate that day and then I think oh my god at my autopsy everybody is going to know that I am an obese person trapped in a thin person's body. Not that that's a well-kept secret.

I'm not the world's healthiest eater, but it's not usually this bad. I've just been so ridiculously stressed out these past couple of weeks. The few days when I haven't had much due-the-next-day homework I was so out of it that I didn't even take advantage of the opportunity to get a head start on, I don't know, this freaking 100 point Hamlet essay that, as it lies blinking on my computer screen right now, is more akin to a steaming pile of dog defecation* than to an actual coherent essay. I mean, I know I complain that every single rough draft I've ever written sucks (which is mostly true, to be honest) but this one is actually terrible. How can I impart upon you the extent to which this essay sucks? How about an nice excerpt:

"...she clearly cares about Hamlet a lot. Ophelia sounds like she really wants to convince her father that Hamlet is a good man; her use of heavenly similes shows this. Ophelia reports that while she was 'sewing in [her] closet' (which makes her seem very innocent), Hamlet caused her to be 'affrightened' and proceeds to list all of the horrible things that Hamlet did (2.1.85-87). "

Where's your formal -- screw it, intelligent -- language? It's more readable this way. Analysis? Unnecessary. Transitions? Nope, don't need those either. Relevance to thesis!? It's more of a stream-of-consciousness jaunt.

(There is no need to shower me with your "Oh, it's just a jewel in the rough" comments. It sucks. I know. You can't truly appreciate its awfulness unless you read the whole thing, which is um, how can I say this, a tangent of an essay that barely resembles its thesis? Like, it's just a rough draft, so I'll most definitely change, uh, all of it before next Tuesday, but still! It's a travesty. I feel like I'm besmirching the good name of Hamlet.)

Anyway, I think it's a combination of stress eating, sleep-deprivation eating (is that a thing? It is now), and the general hunger that accompanies you into the depths of the night/early morning. My #1 New Years/'s/s' (oh my god, back we are again to the realm of misplaced apostrophes. Already?!) is most definitely to get back into shape. Seriously, I feel gross. Blerg.

Anyhoo, besides all of this lovely regurgitation of pent up anxiety and the fact that I just want to go to sleep boo-hoo-hoo, life has not been treating me too badly as of late. The work I have to do for school is pissing me off, but school itself is keepin' on, as it does. I like some classes, others not so much; it's the same for the days. At any rate, I've only got eight more days of school until winter break so at least there's an end in sight. I hope you all are doing well and I'll see you tomorrow!

* You're welcome for that lovely image.