Thursday, October 6, 2011

choosing the labyrinth

I feel like I haven't talk about what's going on with me for a while and for that reason--and also because it's almost midnight and I'm tired--I am going to refresh you all on the happenings of my life.

I just finished rereading Looking for Alaska which I started last week in honour of banned books week. I love John Green. Today, I started The Name of the Star, Maureen Johnson's new novel. So far, it is enjoyable. Next on my list, in no particular order are The Accordionist's Son, As Simple As Snow and Madam Bovary (thanks for the reccomendation, Vita).

I love reading so much. Sometimes it boggles my mind that more people don't read. Like, 1., how would I ever learn things if I didn't read books and also, 2., how would I ever figure out that I'm not the only person in the world who is sometimes afraid and sad and lonely and having a hard time making decisions. I would be so much worse off without books.

Which brings me to my novel. I've been working on it in the past week, not changing much but working up to it. This is partially because I need a project and partially because a friend is reading it, piece by piece. I think I just have to write more. I'm not planning on participating in NaNoWriMo in the traditional way--even though it's SO tempting*--but I may draft my own National Novel Finishing Month. We'll see.
Writing is hard. Rewarding, but difficult.

I've been working a bit. I don't know. Not much is new on that front. Let's move on.

Thanksgiving (I guess I should say Canadian Thanksgiving) is this weekend. Also, Girl Guide cookie selling. I can honestly say I'm more excited for the former. I want to make pumpkin pie and roasted beets.

Speaking of food, I've been kind of healthy lately. Biking a few times a week; eating somewhat balanced meals... which is to say a lot of salad. I think I should start taking some vitamins and get into a consistent exercise routine but apart from that, I feel pretty good. Also, I should have a sleep schedule with some form of regularity. WHY IS IT MIDNIGHT ALREADY?

I tried to get an internship at a local bike shop but it's the offseason and thus not a very good time. I've been playing guitar and, when not playing guitar, lying on my bed listening to music and feeling so much. I am beginning to realize more succinctly the profound impact of music on my life. Every day, I am more grateful for how alive I can feel, just from listening to a song. And it's not just feeling alive, there's also sadness and happiness and brokenness and completeness and connectedness.

Books and music make my life livable. People, too. I shouldn't undervalue people.

I don't know. Sometimes I'm sad and listless and purposeless and full of ennui. I ask myself why I should do anything to justify the fact that I do nothing. And when people ask me what I'm doing with my time or how I am, sometimes I choose to lie because, to quote someone I admire, "the truth resists simplicity." But that's life, right? There's good times and bad times and I choose the labyrinth just like I choose to forgive and I choose to believe it'll get better. And sometimes I'm so incandescently happy and somehow it evens out.

That's probably more than enough for tonight. How are you guys doing?

*I don't know what it is about NaNoWriMo but I have such a good time doing it, even if I'm angsting half the month.

1 comment:

Vita said...

1. I agree with a lot of this, but then I agree with you a lot of the time because you are an agreeable person (actually, despite appearances that's an inappropriate adjective to use, and it's probably more because we just think similarly about certain things, but whatever).
2. I am glad that you are living life. That is a good thing to do. You should continue to do that.
3. You should definitely read Madame Bovary. Possibly you will enjoy it the most when you are feeling frustrated and sort of angry at the way society (god, I hate that word, I'm sorry for using it) is set up. I don't know. Some people hate Emma Bovary, but I relate A LOT. Such a good book though, for reals.