Sunday, December 19, 2010

sisterly affection

I don't know how I feel about the following reaction to my saying "I have three sisters":
Your poor father. 
Variatations are... varying?

But seriously? Like what? We're not that bad. On one hand, I'm like, That's a burn and on the other, I don't know if that qualifies as sexist or just kind of close minded. Or is it a joke? I guess my previous reaction has been to give a fake laugh because that's what I'm trained to do in awkward situations. Force a smile and retreat.

I love my sisters. (and so does my dad!) I love having three and I don't feel like a greedy grabber at all. And yet we're getting so old and I'm afraid to let go where we are. This year has gone by so ridiculously fast, as every year seems to by December, and I have no idea what the next six months are going to be like.

It has always seemed to scare people that my sisters and I are close friends. We have the same friends, we read the same books, we don't just tolerate each other but enjoy each other's company. And yes sometimes I want to slam doors and stomp my feet and not talk to them for a couple hours but we're friends. I just find it strange that some people are weirded out by that.

My big sister is coming back from England tomorrow at three o'clock and I love picking people up from the airport--the anticipation, the peering around pillars and trying to see through translucent glass doors, the moment when you see them and they see you and there's nothing more pressing than the need to run and hug them because you haven't in almost a year. Whoa. Run on.

What's scary is that both of my older sisters are leaving in little more than two weeks, either back to England to continue nannying or off to Calgary to live with strangers and I can't seem to stop letting that hang over me. It's like this ticking clock until I'm alone again (with my parents and younger sister, of course). Caitlyn's not even here yet and I can't stop thinking about how hard goodbye is going to be. The lead up to watching your sisters disappear behind airport security's perimeter is a kind of tricky to navigate but I'm doing my best.

Why do they both have to leave on the same day? Why can't fate* have given my easily provoked tear ducts a freaking break? Two sisters leaving on two planes in one day? It's a bit much.

Ah well. I'll survive. Life is exciting and terrifying and everything is exactly as it should be. Adventures will be had. All is well.

*not that I believe in fate but sometimes it's necessary for dramatic effect.

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