Sleepy camp tomorrow sleepy

It's that time again. Sleepy blog time. And camp time. And incoherent thought time. And 'Why can't I depend on anyone?' time.

Going camping tomorrow. With my Ranger group. You guys know I'm a Girl Guide, yes? Probably. It's hard to hide these things, not that I try.

I'm tired. And not just sleepy tired. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of being disappointed in people. I'm tired of babysitting people and taking care of everyone and having to take charge because if I don't that charge just lies there, untaken.

Why don't I get taken care of? Why am I, the 2nd year, having to be the leader of all this nonsense because no one else understands the term 'taking initiative'?

Urg, leadership sucks when you've forced to take it because no one else is capable. And yes, I sound like a conceited, bossy, snot for acting this way but I'm sleepy and I'm tired of all this crap which is not a winning combination.

Have a nice weekend, you two. You know I will.

Good Things and Bad Things

(My titling is so sophisticated.)

Today's blog comes to you in two PARTS!

Part the first: Things that are stressing me out in life-or-death-proportions.

Tomorrow, I am going to drive. This is a perfectly logical statement, truthful and grammatically correct, so simple I can say it in another language (Voy a manejar mañana.), BUT at the same time it makes no sense in context, as I very well could have driven 8 days ago. Only three people in the world* know about this, and only one of them important to this story. I am seriously considering just not learning how to drive. I could move to Chicago for my secondary education and rely wholly on public transportation, claiming environmentalism and population density. (Both reasonable explanations, as sheer cowardice is not.)

Part the second: Things that are awesome.

I've spent 34 of the last 48 hours in pajamas, I get to go to school dressed as having a parasitic Siamese twin tomorrow, I got an A on a geometry test based on human error and my honesty, it's raining, I got to wear a cape, and tomorrow I am going to drive.

Ahhh, complex situation is complex.

*Someone at the DMV, my instructor, and I. Guess who's the important one. ;)

Inspired Again

I've been so ridiculously coast-y of late. I don't *do* anything except the normal stuff I've gotten into and though it feels like too much, it's not enough. I've gotten around to feeling so busy when, most of the time, I'm just not. I want to do some sort of pie chart to show how much I spend my time weekly, but I haven't gotten around to it just yet.

Last night, I saw Dr. David Suzuki speak. He's this brilliant scientist, environmentalist and Vancouverite who is insanely amazing and I'm so incredibly honoured to have been in the same room as him last night. And he gave this speech, his legacy speech, which was an hour long, never boring, and took everyone in the room on this crazy journey that all connected and made sense and was entirely consuming to listen to.

It hit me like An Inconvenient Truth and it's like I've been pushed into motion again. These past couple of months I've been making these plans. Plans to read more and learn more and write more but I haven't made anything happen. So it starts now. Really, I mean it. I'm going to write and be published and renew my efforts in the fight for the only environment that can sustain human life. 

This is it. There's no planet B and if we cut down all the trees, pollute all the air and water and suck the nutrients out of our soil, there's going to be nothing left but a whole lot of hungry, thirsty, human refugees living on nothing but an empty shell. And it's depressing and it's not fair that our inheritance is a burning, broken world but that's the way it is and I'm sorry, but getting angry and blaming people isn't enough. This may be the 59th minute but it's the only thing we have to work with and the governments and corporations may be against us but if there's one single truth I've taken from Dr. Suzuki, it's that there is no economy without the environment. We depend on one thing and it's not our GDP.

I feel like this blog has been a huge downer when what I'm actually trying to say is how alive I feel. It may look like there's a lot of suck ahead but there's so much possibility, too. Yes, people have been fighting these same issues for a really long time and, yes, the issues have gotten a lot worse but absolutely nothing is set in stone. And we can turn this ship around, or at least minimize the damage of that iceberg that we've already hit. We've got lifeboats, we just have to open our eyes and work towards them.

Are you with me?

Twitiquette

(Meaningless Twitbreviation for etiquette relating to Twitter, may or may not already be copyrighted.)

It always feels so weird to unfollow someone on Twitter. I've done this for a variety of reasons, ranging from the fact that the person tweeted too frequently, tweeted about things I stopped caring about, and other things I don't even remember. They all basically amount to "I don't care what you have to say anymore.", which is freaking cruel. I hate when people unfollow me, (making this just a really, really crappy double standard) even though there's a high probability that they were spambots whose account got deleted, not real people making personal judgments against me.* Another aspect of Twitiquette, as pointed out by Alex, is the strangeness/publicness/vapidity of holding conversations with people via Twitter. . .

Wow, I've been typing this blog sporadically for the past hour, and this is all I have to say on this one subject, but I don't really want to segue into another unrelated subject because this is the more important one, so if I started another paragraph about, say, the quality of various pastries, THAT would serve to draw attention away from this, like, commentary on human decency through Twitter--or I'm just flattering myself and rambling, filling this space with words, words that are only important to me because I've created them (or, more accurately, arranging them to express my thoughts, which are important to me). That ENTIRE THING was ONE SENTENCE. I win?

* I hope.

US-ian just doesn't sound good

(I was going to talk about school. There are a lot of things that I very much want to say but want to say correctly, and given that the draft I just wrote is laden with grammatical errors and is generally unpleasant to read, I'll save that for Monday.)

Instead, I'll comment briefly on how annoying it is when people get pissed off when Americans call themselves, well, American.

"It's an entire continent!" they protest. "Actually, it's two continents! Why do you get to call yourself American?"

Never mind that America is actually in the name of the country - the United States of America. Never mind that the other countries in the American continents have separate names that they are perfectly willing to use. Never mind that, as a generalization, most non-Americans wouldn't want to call themselves American because of the often negative connotation.

I'm not saying that the USA is superior to other countries-- it's not. And if you really, really like the sound of "American," then I'm sorry. Your life is hard, I know. You have to go by Canadian or Mexican or Portuguese or [fill in the blank] instead. Boo-freaking-hoo. That is real suffering right there.

Seriously: get over yourselves. It's not going to change any time soon. Of all the reasons you could criticize the US -- and there are many -- you go for one of the pettiest, most idiotic insults? What are you trying to accomplish? What point are you trying to prove? Do you think it makes you seem more intelligent? Witty? Because it really doesn't. It's just annoying and pretty obnoxious.

Plus, like, don't freaking blame us for it. US residents have been calling themselves American for a long time-- before we were born. You're seriously attempting to call us out for an insignificant fact of history that was established 250 years ago? Trust me, we have a much worse past than a freaking name. And so does your country, FYI. No, seriously-- whatever America (yes, America) has done wrong, your country has almost certainly done something just as bad. (Although maybe not using the atom bomb, I'll give you that. Although: not to validate its use or anything, but Russia would have invented it even if America hadn't, so... don't get too high and mighty.)

Fo' reals.

P.S., Alex, you know I still love Canada and all the other non-American countries. It just gets frustrating sometimes. Chill the crap out, y'all.

That time of year

I hate it when people ask me about school. Why is there nothing else anyone can think to ask a teenager about?* I know I should be accustomed to it by now and get over it but I'm not and I can't. With the new school year on everyone's mind, those questions are so often spoken to me that I've come with some sample responses, none of which are appropriate.

Sample 1:
Impertinent questioner: What school do you go to, Alex?
Me: I dropped out.
*awkward silence*

Sample 2:
Impertinent questioner: Where do you go to school?
Me: I don't. I'm an unschooler.
*blank looks*
Someone in the background: She's homeschooled.
Impertinent questioner: Oooooooh. And how do you like that?
Me: I love not having to conform to curriculum standards and be able to spend my days learning what I want and not waiting for other people to figure out what's going on.
Impertinent questioner: Oh. That's really great for you.

Sample 3:
Impertinent questioner: What school do you go to?
Me: I'm a homeschooler.
Impertinent questioner: Wow Your mom must be really busy, teaching you and all.
Me: Yes, my mother is busy but not teaching me because she doesn't, in a lesson-type way. More through a life way.
Impertinent questioner: *not quite understanding* So I guess you don't have homework since you're always at  home?
Me: *smiles* No. No, I don't.

Sample 4:
Impertinent questioner: So Alex, what grade are you in this year?
Me: Grade 11.
Impertinent questioner: And what school do you go to?
Me: I decided not to pursue public education.
*blank stare*
Me: I don't go to school.
Impertinent questioner: Don't you want to?
Me: If I wanted to, I'd be going to.
Impertinent questioner: Don't you feel like you're missing out? How do you socialize?
Me: I'm pretty used to living in a shoebox with no friends and nothing to look forward to, so I'm good. At least I have the internet.
*blank stare*
Impertinent questioner: But why don't you want to go to school?
Me: I don't find the educational system to be extremely functional.
*blank stare*
Impertinent questioner: So what kind of music do you listen to?

That's all. What's that, seven blogs since you mentioned it, Vita? Rena and I sure can respond under pressure.

*Other than, of course, what kind of music I listen to which, I'm sorry to say, is less easier to phrase than the question which asks for it. Nice thought but unless you want me to hand over my iPod for you to peruse, I cannot describe my eclectic tastes.