Hypothetical Screenplay-thing

Blatantly stealing idea from Alex, but at least it's applicable. 9 days, and I'm considerably more psyched than I was in October. Then it seemed like this huge, looming deadline of NOT FUN. Now that I know I can do it, (somewhat) I'm ready to just start and I'm not (as) afraid to see where it goes.*

But, based on my "influences"** I can say generally that it's going to be a little nerdy-romantic-comedy-ish meets Monty Python, with Hayao Miyazaki-ish scenery*** Kind of. Also, school has become "that place we go for 8 hours a day to meet the hours requirement set by the district or some such authority instead of actually learning things****.", because spring break is coming up. So that means I have a week to devote all my waking hours to it instead of having to do actual schoolwork much. This I quite like.

*Transition into lengthy comment on Vita's post, thus it can be inferred that I don't have many original ideas today...*

Hmmm. I must have an awesome spam-filter then because I only get emails from people I actually converse with, and the stupid Twitter notifications. "Ingrid_xxx is now following you on Twitter!" Yes, Twitter. I know. The majority of my followers are pornbots. Don't rub it in, I don't block them because they make me look like I have more followers, which makes me look significant and interesting. Don't take that away from me, Twitter.

Or, you may be implying that I am subject to this bombardment after I start really looking at colleges. DO NOT WANT. (Protect the poor, innocent freshman...)

Footnotes!

* I could just be in denial over this, but it's contented denial.

** This sounds so much more acceptable than "I like this movie. I'm going to imitate it a little, twist it around by its neck until it dies and mash it with other things until it becomes *almost* unrecognizable.

*** No disrespect to any of the above. What I really mean is, I'll probably have a logical, if dull, plot for awhile and then get bored with it halfway through and just stick bits like this in for fun and a few extra pages of script. (At least I'm being self-aware.) In the case of the former, it was presumably meant as, like, deliberate surrealism. So pretty much in that vein, but for lack of better ideas. With awesome scenery. (Probably easier to manipulate it animated, but still.)

**** I take that back. Currently we're learning about the many ways to smash eggs when they are dropped from long distances upward.

don't even know

Everything that comes out of my mouth (or off of my fingers) is bound to be negative/whiny/generally unpleasant to read. THUS, spam mail that I have recently received:

- "You May Qualify for Bankruptcy!" (Pretty sure I'm not bankrupt. But thanks anyway.)

- "Your Credit Score is Updated" (NOT APPLICABLE)

- "Upgrade to a Portable Oxygen Concentrator Today" (This implies that I already have something of that sort with which I COULD upgrade, but sadly, I don't. Also, what the hell is a portable oxygen concentrator?)

- [SO MANY from the Nerdfighter's Ning saying "so and so is now a member of Harry Potter Nerds on Nerdfighters!" I love you, Nerdfighteria, but I REALLY DO NOT CARE. Is there a way to turn this off?]

SO MANY RUDE/SCARY EMAILS FROM COLLEGES

- "I'm surprised, Vita" [email reads: Vita, I thought I'd have heard from you by now. PLZ SEND IN UR REKWST 4 INFO PAKETTTT*!!!!!!! OKAY, well, maybe you should just LEAVE ME ALONE then]

- "Is this your email address, Vita?" [SHUT UP]

- "I need to reach Vita" [then find a goddamn phone book and STOP IT]

- "If there were a hidden camera, Vita..." [And now we are entering the realm of creepy. Dear God, I hope Gettysburg College hasn't hidden any cameras in my house...]

Oh, I'm SORRY that I haven't PERSONALLY RESPONDED to your FIFTY THOUSAND EMAILS that all consist of the same thing: a link to your website. HOW CREATIVE OF YOU.

* Perhaps this is not word for word correct. Really though.

The Perils of Cheese

My sister is reading Paper Towns for book club and this makes me very happy. Also, I'm writing a script with my darling sister (my younger one, the one who didn't reject my idea on the spot). All this means I'm happy. FYI, my script is going to be a movie which I'm describing as 500 Days of Summer meets Amelie (which is a French film). This is not what I am here to tell you. What I am here to tell you is that organic food may be pricey but it's ultimately worth it.

You see, last week I promised a group of people that I was only going to eat organic dairy and vegetables this week. This seemed like it would be mostly easy as my family already drinks organic milk (even though it's priced exorbitantly high) and we eat organic yogurt (mmhmm, French vanilla) and mostly buy organic veggies, when they're available.

I hope you all know what organic means and why it's mucho importante, but if not, allow me to tell you. Organic basically implies that a food has been grow (or produced) without genetic modification or insect killing pesticides. It means all natural and healthy. It's important because corporations may say that pesticides aren't harmful to humans but they can be. Let's just say that the cure to cancer may be eating only organic, not that I'm claiming to know the cure for cancer but it's a definite possibility. Pesticide kills more than pests.

Anyway, back to my mission. You see, on day two, I realized that I can't eat any of my usual snacks without cheese so I set out to the grocery store to buy cheese. I wanted to cry as a stood there in front of the organic cheese which was tiny and very expensive. Cheese is already expensive but this cheese was more so. But I took it off the shelf and proceeded to the self check out where I wrung in my purchase and left the store, carrying seven less dollars and a tiny block of cheese. I'm trying to think of something to describe the size but I'm failing to think of any rectangular objects that are the size of my cheese.

I've had a couple slip ups this week but mostly because what am I supposed to do a) when my mother makes me soup that contains non-organic zucchini or b) I go to a friend's house where I have a choice of pumpkin pie, ice cream and a latte none of which contain organic products...? But mostly I've felt good about myself.

The moral of the story is, organics may be a tad more money than crazy mutated food but, if you factor in the health and environmental benefits, you're actually saving yourself a lot. Sorry for the somberness of this. Somber seems like the wrong word but still. I'm trying to impart some knowledge here. Save yourselves!!!

My Dignity Has Left The Building

I want my mommy.

I blame Alex.

I blame...?

Okay, so I'm reading Coraline, (while I still haven't seen the movie, regretfully. Now I don't think I want to, though.) and it has successfully frightened my nearly out of my wits. Just a few minutes ago I was convinced my Internet was hacked by the other mother. I jump at noises. It's 10:17, but everyone else in my household has gone to bed. I should not be reading this at this hour. It's SCARY as hell, but captivating, which is the worst part. It also says on the back cover that it's for "Ages 8 and up". One question:

WHO in their right mind would let an EIGHT YEAR OLD read this?!

But, fine. Okay. Eight-year-olds are possibly much more reasonable than me. This is a comforting fact. Aside from everything that makes me want to throw this book down and keep it out of my line of vision/thought forever, let's focus on the positives:

1. It's well-written.

2. There are illustrations. Who doesn't like books with pictures? Not the graphic novel version. These pictures are scarce, in black and white, and disturbing. Click it. I fucking dare you not to freak out a little.

3. Neil Gaiman is British. (I think I've mentioned that I can't stand it when lists have less than 3 items, but I can't think of a legit third. I really enjoyed Good Omens, which was very dark, certainly, but had many more redeeming qualities. I.e Crowley. Mmm, deadpan Antichrist.)

Maybe my emotions are just a bit heightened at this hour. But still. It's like a common nightmare, one of those dreams you have but then immediately forget after you wake up, left with only an air of what might have happened. Reading this tears open that memory, that you connect with on some subconscious level. And then your subconscious explodes.

And now, if you will excuse me, I have to go finish it. And then maybe sleep with the lights on.

Age and Maturity or Lack Thereof

Today is Thursday and it's a very special Thursday because...

1. I got a temporary job as a teaching assistant for Japanese exchange students. They get in on Sunday and then I get to spend the entire week trying to cram English into their brains and then they go home. Needless to say, I am excited! (Also, who can beat $11/an hour? Buh-bye McDonald's recruiters.)
2. Yesterday was my sister's 1/2 birthday. She is now 13 and a half. Also it was St. Patrick's Day. I love it when holidays involve banishing snakes from Ireland. And drinking, not that I do much of the second. Or the first. *pathetic laugh* (This is my reaction, not any weird cue for you, the reader)
3. I've come to realize that in less than two months I could be on the road driving. This is provided that I pass the 25 question knowledge test in the week following my sixteenth birthday (w00t!) but I've been studying since my oldest sister was sixteen (in other words, for four years) so I'm hoping this dedication will pay off.

Also, about this driving thing, while I am excited to get on the road and have a license, it's seems kind of soon to be behind the wheel. Driving is one of those things that is constantly in the back of your mind as a kid. I remember thinking about how exciting it would be when I turned sixteen and learned to drive. It's a rite of passage, right? And yet, when I envisioned myself in possession of my own car, it was a glamorous image of a red convertible which I'd walk to with perfect hair and click the lock and get in and ride into the sunset. My point is that I was so old in that picture.

I don't feel that old right now. That girl in my nine-year-old mind pulling out of the driveway in that shiny red car is not me. I feel astonishingly young. How did this happen? Sixteen used to be a symbol of independence and maturity. Why do I feel like it's just another birthday in which I'll still feel the exact same as I felt when I was fifteen which is the exact same as I felt when I was fourteen?

Maybe if I get a haircut I'll look more sixteenish. But then again, my hair is already long and 'sixteen hair' feels like it would be long and very straight. I need to move on from this. I can't age myself. I can, however, go shopping for clothes. A new 'sixteen' look. *sigh* I am vain and materialistic. Maybe I can cure myself of this by reading Lord of the Flies.

Does anyone else feel my pain?

Superpowers of Pastry

This is another random prompt blog. I got them from here. W00T. I was going to write about something relevant/interesting, but promptly forgot what it was. Then I was going to blog about some holiday that fell on today, but the most interesting one today is "National Wellderly Day" (The elderly, and the promotion of their wellness. Would be much more exciting if it was a celebration of senior-citizen welders.) So:

-- Name 5 things laying around your computer.
1. A blue pen
2. Lens-cleaning solution
3. Assorted papers.
4. A black Crayola marker, washable, running out of ink.
5. Odd bits of ribbon, several colors.

(I'm typing this on Edmund, not many atypical or personal objects laying around...)

--Describe your wedding dress or bridesmaid dress, or suit, if male.
I haven't had to wear any of them. Not even a bridesmaids dress. Hmmm. When/if I have the occasion to, I doubt it will even be white. Not quite applicable, let us try again:

--What's one skill you've wanted, but don't have?
Hmmm. I have quite a few... does this mean I'm unskilled?
1. Musical ability. Any at all. I'd like to be able to play piano especially. This can be learned, but it doesn't say "something you'd like to LEARN.", I'd rather prefer it to just appear. Piano skillz poof. Want.
2. Superpowers FTW. Again, any superpowers. Not having superpowers French The Llama.
3. Cooking/Baking/Ability to write in frosting. I love eating, I think it would be beneficial if I could prepare complex-type food and not have it turn out crappy. I've burned pasta. Yes, this is indeed a sign of unskilledness. Baking too. Because baked goods are require some of the same skills as cooking, but with desserty results. NOMNOMNOM. Frosting pwns. It's like calligraphy, but with SUGAR. Major pwnage.

-- High school...

And I assume I am supposed to finish that sentence. So, so many things or non-things to say. From the conventional yet brief-and-not-entirely-true-but-still-not-yet-entirely-untrue-generalization "Sucks." to some non-answer about how it's not over yet and my opinion of it is constantly changing, to a cop-out physical description of the building. How about none of the above. I'm tired. Body clock adjustments French The Llama.