Sunday, February 13, 2011

I went to school on a tangent

Alriiiiight.

Oh God. I hate it when I unconsciously* say that and get reminded of my old Fake Teacher Who Shall Remain Unnamed (Ms. _______).

I have a confession: I've actually been to school. Not REAL school. Well, yes, real school. But it was mostly fake school. What I mean to say is that, when I was in grade six, I went to an elementary school on Tuesdays for a pretend school program with other homeschoolers. I feel like it's tarnished my rep as a Never Been to School-er. I comfort myself with the fact that it wasn't REAL school.

It was kind of real. I mean, there was hopscotch and dodgeball and tetherball and recess and sitting at a desk and some light homework and a bunch of other relatively lame make work type activities. I still have a relic from it, a papier mache tiger mask on my bedroom wall. I have weird decorating tastes.

(What, it's a fragment of my childhood? It's useless and kind of frightening but hangable? Put it on the wall!)

I've stopped trying to fight the tangents. My mind is actually scientifically proven to be a giant tangent, nothing more, so I figure, why not just go with it?

Back to my original recollection, though, Ms. ________ used to say "Alright," with this weird look in her eye, drawing out the 'i' until it almost needed its own house. And I'm not going to lie, it kind of freaked me out. Or maybe it was the fact that she made me cry during a Collaborative Report** reading comprehension test and, though I repressed the memory, I never quite let it go. Good times.

This blog didn't really have a point so I feel like I should leave you with something of significance like the news that I unknowingly payed taxes *** or am planning a trip to visit my sister in Calgary (March 25 here I come). Or maybe I should just tell you to stay gold.

Yeah. That's right Ms. _______. I may not speak French despite what you tried to teach me and I may not be planning to graduate but I am a functional member of society and I am going places. Many spectacular places so don't condescend on me anymore. I am beyond you.

Okay, I took that to a somewhat odd place. What (are) you going to do?

*If you are like my friends who think that you cannot do something unconsciously whilst conscious I must tell you: YOU ARE WRONG!
**Homeschooler lingo for 'This is to report to the government regarding whether your parents are making you stoopid or not.'
***I should definitely look into that.

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