Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hi again.

I don't think I'll ever go to high school. That could be judgmental but I'm pretty sure it's not what I want to do with my time. I went to a high school rugby game this afternoon and was uncomfortable enough there. For some reason I just don't like being in the company of random teenaged strangers. That's possibly judgmental, too, but I just don't understand them and I don't feel like I fit in. At all.

But that's the life of a nerd, isn't it? I'm okay with it.

***THESE PRETTY STARS AND CAPITAL LETTERS ARE HERE TO DISTRACT YOU FROM THE LACK OF SEGUE WHICH COULD BE CONSTRUED AS LACK OF TALENT AT WRITING. OH LOOK! A UNICORN!***

I've realized recently (yes, I realize that I say this a lot. I'm quite the realizer) that I'm a big sharer. This was partly due to my sister pointing out that one of our friends* is not a big sharer. She just doesn't like to tell people news I guess. University acceptances, new jobs, etc. I guess not everyone likes to talk as much as I do.

But that's the thing, I LOVE to share. Not like physically, "Here have a bite of my cake," but information on myself. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I love talking about myself; I love telling stores of things that have happened to me; I love sharing news; I also write blogs, and post Twitter updates solely because I like to share my opinions and thoughts.

Not everyone is like that apparently.

So I delved deeper, wondering why I have this constant need to be known. I even noticed that I love to share my writing. You know how some writers are private about their stuff (namely, my two older sisters)? I'm the opposite. I love reading what I've written out loud. Sometimes I'll write what I think is the most amazing thing in the world and if I don't tell it to the person who is physically nearest me... I don't know what would happen because I always just read it to them. Same with other people's stuff. I constantly irritate people when I'm reading a good book by reading the best parts to them and then being annoyed when they don't appreciate it as much as I think they should. Being around me while I read John Green or The Mortal Instruments is probably unbearable.

I tried to do an experiment yesterday, where I tried not to voluntarily share every thought that was on my mind and you know what my first thought was? I should tell someone about my experiment. It's so physically ingrained that it takes conscious effort not to. I cracked last night and read a newly written first two paragraphs of my book to my sister.

You get the point. I love to share information and writing. But why?

At first I thought it was some psychological need to validate myself. For example: a) I think this writing is the best thing I've ever written, let's see how Person A reacts. b) This is the funniest thing I've ever read, let's see if Person B agrees. c) MY BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK!!! I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE. On and on. But the whole, "I need other people to validate how I feel," is a bit too sad and I'm not sure it's me. Maybe it was at one point but not anymore.

So I'm on to Option B, which is that I just like to share. I want people to know me and I hope they want me to know them. Because I like people and, supposedly, if you want to see a behavior, you should model it. So here I am. Sharing my life and thoughts with the internet.

Q: Do *you* have any deeply ingrained personality functions such as the one above? Please share it in your next blog or in the comments.

*On a scale of one to ten, how weird would you say it is to have the same group of friends as your sister?

1 comment:

Vita said...

I don't think it's weird to have the same group of friends as your sister. It means you have more in common, right?