Sunday, January 9, 2011

0/7/09 - stop apologizing

Vita: By the by, sorry for not blogging on Friday. I don't have a good excuse other than extreme fatigue and a sudden volleyball game? I like the question mark.

Alex: I may be cheating due to this being one of those draft posts that really isn't much to go off or comment on or add to (while still keeping to the 'theme', that is). And yet I'm using it because I don't want to finish something that's halfway done right now. I want my own thoughts to reign. So consider Vita's two sentences a preface to my following stream of thought.

I came to a different level of blogging philosophy a year or so ago. It was probably about halfway between the heart warming community feeling of BEDA 2009 and the attention seeking 'why doesn't anyone read/comment on my blog anymore?' despair of summer '09.

On my personal blog, I'd have phases, after BEDA, of writing two posts in a three days and then not updating  for a couple weeks. I felt guilty, as is a personal tendency, and I'd always find myself apologizing. Every post would start with, "So, um, sorry I haven't blogged in so long." It wasn't until the I Have No Readers period that I stopped caring. Because if no one follows my blog, there's no one to apologize to. Problem solved. Guilt assuaged.

Strangely enough, this didn't keep me from blogging. Lack of readers never equated to lack of reasons to blog. It didn't make me want to publish something every other day, either, but the pressure off. I wasn't motivated by guilt anymore and so I only published blogs when I wanted to, not when I felt obligated to. Which is something I wish I could harness a lot more in my life these days. More desirable, though, would be the ability to want to do the things I've obligated myself to.

Because of this revelation I had a year ago, I always find it so interesting when I read a blog that starts with "Sorry for deserting you guys" or the like. It's not that I don't care if no one posts in a while, obviously I care or I wouldn't be following their blog, I'm just so far past using guilt as a motivator. I guess if it works for you, go for it, but honestly I hate that feeling of strings of guilt trailing after me whenever I try to walk.

As a final note to this, I hope that all you bloggers out there, specifically Vita and Rena, are posting because you love it and not because there's an obligation hanging over your head. I'm not about to say 'life's too short' because time can only control you if you allow it to. Instead, I say, life's too valuable; follow your passions.

p.s. This goes for blog reading, too. I never want to waste your time and I don't want you to feel required to read all my posts. I usually try to write compelling, interesting and entertaining blogs but if you're not into it, you are in no way indebted to me. Only read if you truly would like to. I officially give you permission to let your attention lead you elsewhere. *gives permission*
p.p.s. As a post script to the above, I'd like to add that I mostly write for myself so lack of readers is no longer a big deal for me. Of course, having people along for my ramblings is even more enjoyable but I'm pretty sure I'd still be doing this if you weren't reading it.
p.p.p.s. I felt the need to add another note saying that you are appreciated because it seemed like I was saying something else. I love having you read this... I just... yeah, stopping now.

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