Friday, January 7, 2011

Draft January 12/26/10 -- So a year ago I was a liar, it seems

Oblique (ooh, posh): Rena
Italics; also, parenthesis: Vita

Draft pooooost. For January. Huzzah! (Alex, did you mean we were going to post our draft posts as is, as a raw purge? Because this is how mine usually start. This is how they ALL start, really, but you don't see that. Draft form is nice.) (MY LIFE.)

Having received my first iPod for Christmas (congratulations), I decided to keyword search this blog for relevant topics to discuss upon owning one. What I discovered was my false past. (OH MY GOD CIA AGENT) I found this post, wherein I insinuate that I have both ridden a plane and owned the aforementioned device (both lies). (You mean you have never experienced the delightfully nauseous nosh known as airplane food, or perhaps, airplane milk** kept chilly/watery with the genius addition of ice? You, my friend, are missing out.) It's trivial, put in inconspicuously, normal enough so as to not be questioned, my reasoning behind them being that it would be more abnormal to confess to not having experienced these things. (Funny how it's all so relative, isn't it? If you were in, say, the outback in Australia as a member of an indigenous tribe***, it would be more weird if you either of those things did apply to you. Like, there is no normal for the human species, just what we as individual societies construe as important. At any rate, I don't think it's at all strange to not have an iPod or to never have ridden an airplane, nor do I think it's strange that you were once somewhat worried about it.) This was a year ago, when this vast expanse of trust and openness that now exists between us hadn't been formed within this blog. (Aww. Truth.) Now, of course, I know y'all wouldn't've judged me, but back then I was self-conscious on the Internet. (Isn't it weird how you can feel so personally responsible, I guess, for somebody you've never met off the internet? How bizarre is the realm of internet characters -- you have, in probably the majority of the internet population, people who essentially use the internet as an extension of the tangible world, becoming perhaps a tad more outgoing; on the other end, you have the trolls who would probably never say half the things they say online in real life.) I feel like I owe you an apology; consider this it. (As John Green would say, I don't agree with your premise, BUT apology accepted nonetheless.)

It's a silver Shuffle, and so far I'm handling it like a baby bird or my own child. (I've named him Jiji, which is a clever, multilayered pun on my part.*) Time will change this, I'm sure.

* Pronounced the same as saying the letter G twice, referencing the fact that he has 2 Gigabytes of storage. (Clever!) Also the name of the awesome, sarcastic cat sidekick in an anime movie I loved as a kid. (I must see this movie. Awesome cats are awesome.)
** So that sounds pretty disgusting; it's as if airlines drained all of the disgusting leftover gas and served in in-flight as a special treat known as "airplane milk." Shudders all 'round.
*** Speaking of, Australians apparently have the bestest slang. Did you know that "rainbow sneeze" is one of the many expressions they use to describe the delightful act of vomiting?

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