Returning from Exile(ish)

School photos.

Are.

The most unflattering type of photograph.

In the entire world.

This is not a hyperbole.

The end.

It's been eight months still I got my picture taken and I'm still bitter about this. Why are you so bad at taking pictures, photographers? Why do you think it is a good idea to force your subjects to tilt from the waist and tilt from the neck? Why do you think the "I look somewhat stoned and definitely like I am about to fall out of my chair" look is a good pose? Why do you take such pleasure in rearranging girls' hair until it reaches places that hair never reaches naturally?

Is there a special school for How to Make People Look Dumb in their Yearbook and to any Future Generation of Students who Read that Old Yearbook?

In all seriousness, for all the time we spend taking pictures of each other, photographs are a shoddy representation of a person at that point in their life. You've got your average posed photographs (nobody tilts their head at that angle or smiles that way in real life), your "candid" shots (luckily, you are not caught in the middle of an unflattering moment every second of your life), your "let me make a weird face and pretend to be jokey" pictures (please tell me you don't make that face on a regular basis). And then you've got my personal favorites, also known as the "that wasn't supposed to happen" category, which consists of zoomzoomzoomed pictures of people's blurry nostrils or eyebrows, flash pictures that make everyone look like depressed vampires, and the ever-attractive "my earlobe is in this picture, but the rest of my face is mysteriously absent" headshots.

And who can resist the lovely "taken with my camera phone in the school bathroom's mirror" pictures? Do those sinks in the background bring out the color in your eyes?

(I would like to point out that after coming home ON TIME today for the first time in a very long time, I started my homework right away... and didn't procrastinate... and then at 8:30 I turned on my laptop and have been making feeble attempts to FINISH my homework ever since. Sigh. Stupid sparkly internet.)

(Also, I just spilled mocha on my shirt, because apparently I can't type and swallow at the same time. The things I do for you.)

(Finally, "Juliet" by LMNT is the best worst song in the history of songs that are so bad they're good. Or maybe it's so good it's good. I can't tell. Either way, thank the Lord for boy bands of yore.)