A Story About Uzbekistan

The capital of which is Tashkent. Care to find out how I know that, and will presumably never forget it? Doesn't matter, you ARE.

In sixth grade, there was the "Geo Bee", a series of tests similar to a spelling bee but with geography questions. After 2 rounds of regular quiz-type things (labeling the states, then labeling the 50 countries with the highest populations.) there was the final round, on stage.

I made it to the stage round, and while I was walking to the gym/auditorium a teacher (whom I didn't know at the time taught 8th grade Social Studies and was frankly jokes.) and I had the following conversation:

Mr. H: "Congratulations on making it this far. Are you nervous?"

M: "Not really. Unless they ask me something hard, like what the capital of Russia is."*

Mr. H: "Moscow."

M: "Erhem... right. But what if they ask me something REALLY hard, like what the capital of Uzbekistan is?"

Mr. H: "I don't even know that one... good question."

Shortly after that, on the round where all the answers were capitals, I got this question:

"After the breakup of the Soviet Union in 1991, this capital of Uzbekistan was the first city to implement a subway system."**

(I guessed Uzbekistania City.)

I was convinced I was clairvoyant for a while after that. And I was also slightly mad at Mr. H for not knowing. THAT ANSWER was the only thing between me and winning a CHOCOLATE CAKE. (but, the next question I would have gotten regarded the former name of Kosovo or something, so I would've been screwed then...) Why had I picked Uzbekistan anyway? It sounded long and confusing, to make up for the stupidity of not knowing the capital of Russia, but I could have just as well picked Sri Lanka, the capital of which I still don't know.***

I'm remembering this incident because I'm rereading Looking For Alaska and marveling at all the things I didn't understand when I read it the first time, when I was 12. (Shortly after this video.)****

I pretty much exemplify John's point, because having read that when I was 12, I have no scarring to my young, impressionable, unable-to-think-critically brain tissue. Sure I didn't *get* it entirely, but that's not a problem, that's the fun of rereading.

Where was I? Yeah. Uzbekistan. Apparently it's a popular capital to quiz people on, because it's confusing and relatively unknown. The Colonel knows the capital of it too.

Footnotes! (longer than usual, prepare yourself.)

*I could never remember if it was Moscow or St. Petersburg.

**Or something like that. It may have been phrased like a Jeopardy question, and it probably had some unnecessary information, like the subway system. Because that sounds harder than "What's the capital of Uzbekistan?"

***With good reason. I looked it up on Wikipedia, it's "Sri Jayawardenapura Kotte" WTF?

****Back in the old days of vlogbrothers, I was pretty much "The Littlest Nerdfighter". A title I wore proudly. I wanted to read it just because it was deemed controversial and (almost) banned. Banned books have a tendency to be awesome, as evidenced by Vita's post.

*****(after a while I looked up a list of challenged books in the US on Wikipedia, this is my reaction...) Oh COME ON. James and the Giant Peach? The Witches? What, The BFG? *scrolls* No, but, The Giver? WHY? Harry Potter, the Bible, that book about gay penguins, *sigh* fine. Ban/challenge/complain/whine about them if you want, but what is so objectionable about How To Eat Fried Worms? All examples that I read when I was fairly young, and Roald Dahl still kicks ass.