I am a documented weirdo

**Sorry about the lack of blog/comments, most likely I won't be able to blog Saturday either. Now, because it requires lengthy explanation, is my weird habit answer. Your regularly scheduled programming returns on Tuesday. Have a nice day. Beeeeep.**

The first weird habit I could think of was that occasionally, when I was in a line somewhere, I'd pick out a random person and basically think up their whole life story, usually with crazy details and random crap but that's what made it fun. As of late I've started this again, as a sort of character development for my novel. (side: I hope to make it to 15k. Fail.) But, as evidenced by this diary entry from when I was younger, it got borderline creepy.

Dated: 8/3/05*

"Hello again, FPWWWTKAMWIBF**,

I think that you should know that one of the fabulous (something scratched out many times) creative exercises I have come up with is something which I call "The That Person Game". In TTPG***, I spot a person in a random public location and think of their entire life. I think I am very good at this and that it is very fun, so here are some I have come up with:

--A guy probably in college, but he's dropped out twice so he's old. He eats cat food because it's cheap and looks fancy. He claims to like the taste but really he's close to homeless. He does not have a girlfriend and is becoming desparate [sic]. He joined eHarmony but quit after six months because all his internet match people were from prison, and that's when the free period ends.

-- Looks like she could be a middle aged stage mom person, but doesn't have kids. She got bad Botox about 4 months ago and it's starting to puff way too much. She buys used thongs at the Salvation Army. Her interests include: Romance novellas where they both die, and anything mango scented.

This is most definitely my best one:

-- Her favorite color is puce and she's considering boob reduction surgery and she has 3 cats named Muffin, Twinkletoes, and Sasha. Her tv isn't working and the repair guy didn't show up yesterday so she is drafting a very strongly worded letter to the company in her head. She wants him fired. Simulteneously [sic] she is trying to remember if she left her credit card on the table and trying to pick a wedgie without using her hands. Her favorite Ben&Jerrys flavor is Cherry Garcia, which she eats by the pint while she watches Lifetime movies where everyone dies at the end of some sad disease and cries over her son Donny who hasn't called in 15 years.

That's how I amuse myself and who knows? One of these people could be the inspiration for my novel!!!! My debut, of course. Once I'm an expert novelist, however, my great novel will either be a romance flecked with mystery or a mystery flecked with romance. Possibly a murder involved, but that won't be the ENTIRE plot. Not a total tragedy but there will be a fair amount of drama. There will be funny parts too. There will be action and adventure. Maybe even a battle sequence! Yes, my great novel will have all of these things. Goodbye."

(laugh freely now, as you guys *and I, in retrospect* tend to do when I drag up STORIES FROM MY CHILDHOOD.)

Wow. I was either messed up beyond all comparison as a child or a genius. Weird how I mention "my great novel", whilst I'm now trying to WRITE IT. Sorry, tiny me. There is no murder. :(



* I was 10, and this was probably around the time I read Harriet the Spy. Awesome book.
** Fabulous People Who Will Want To Know About Me When I Become Famous
*** I was quite fond of acronyms. :)