I did this, not by bullfighting or flambéing things or jumping on top of a parachute being held up by 22 other people***, but by eating a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich.
This was accomplished out of necessity and boredom, always a great combination. Steps:
1. Become hungry.
2. Search for edible foodstuffs that require minimal preparation.
3. Notice peanut butter, with a sad lack of jelly and other conventional ingredients.****
4. Google ideas for other things to put on a Peanut butter sandwich.
5. Results: Tomatoes, Radishes, Sweet Pickles, Raisins, Mayonnaise.
6. Wait until hunger outweighs general feelings of unease.
7. Assemble.
8. Eat.
Conclusion: Really not that bad. I wouldn't eat it again by choice, but it's okay.
(Other random things not suitable for placement in the body of text within this post, as it would be fine and my point would still be clear if I didn't include these bits, but still points worth noting that I thought of while typing the main portion of this, but that would be too long as parenthetical statements, so I indicate them with stars and put them here correspondingly:
AKA FOOTNOTES.)
*A pretty good source of subject matter, seeing as Twitter is kind of a mini-blog, a stack of Post-Its to be reassembled into cohesive thoughts later.
**Eleanor Roosevelt
***The opportunity hasn't presented itself for the former, but I DID decline when people in my Spanish class were looking for the smallest person to lay on one of those parachutes commonly used in elementary-school gym class where everyone would put stuff on top of it and then shake the parachute so as to keep all the objects off of the ground or something. (this was insanely fun, it's nice to have an excuse to do this nowadays.) except this was considerably smaller, and instead of balls or beanbags or those badminton things or paper elephants (en español hoy), they would be tossing MOI. It's not that I don't trust people, I just don't... trust people... with my physical safety much. I can't do that trust exercise thing where you fall backwards into another person's arm, if that's any indication of my issues.
****I have indeed tried it with Nutella, and it's quite magically, mouthgasmically delicious, but it's gone. This needs to be fixed. Also, I really dislike having JUST peanut butter on a sandwich. On both pieces of bread it's kind of too thick-ish. I'm weird, I know.
2 comments:
Hey that quote is familiar. I think it was on a lululemon bag and I was puzzling over how serious it was meant to be taken.
When I read what you said about the peanut butter and mayonnaise I flinched. Then my sister said,"Why did you flinch?"
And about the parachute thing, I am ALWAYS picked on whenever my Ranger group need to pick someone up. We did this night hike last year where at least three of the stations involved carrying a wounded person on one of those medical thingies and I had to do it every single time. Really though, when you disperse a person's weight by eight people being ten pound lighter doesn't make that much difference. Arg. I'm scarred.
Mmm, I have to agree with Alex - and I guess you too, sort of - in saying that mayonnaise and peanut butter don't sound very good. Of course, I don't like mayonnaise in any form (besides Deviled eggs), so I might be biased. But kudos for being BRAVE ;)
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