insanity (and zombies) to the nth degree

People are insane.
No, seriously: People - as in the human race, collectively - are legitimately crazy.
We make up all sorts of rules and status quos * and standards that are virtually impossible for any of us to meet, yet whenever any one of us fails to achieve the acceptable standards - as we inevitably will - we are looked down upon.
I'm not saying that we should abandon all forms of politeness or start chewing with our mouths open and spraying any nearby unfortunate soul with various bits of bagel. Politeness allows us to express our gratitude more sincerely, for one thing. And it lets us be nice to those who we want to respect or just be nice to. But there are many instances in which society takes things a step (or three) too far.

For example, when someone asks you, "How you doin'?", the expected reply is, "Very well, madame/monsieur. A thousand blessings upon you and your kin for your kind words of consideration."
It does not matter if your mother, father, estranged uncle, two brothers, one sister, and various cats were all brutally murdered seconds before someone asked you the question. It does not matter if you are suffering from a bad case of the sniffles. You are not allowed to say that you are doing poorly. If you say anything else but those exact words, you are labled as That Girl/Guy/Etc Who Always Complains And Seems To Relish Excruciating Pain And/Or Being Depressed for the rest of your life.

Or consider, for a moment, society's opinion of peas. Eating peas is a b%!ch. It's so flipping hard to stab those little buggers, yet you have to use your fork. Even if you're allowed a spoon, it still takes five hours to get one little pea in your mouth. Of course, such traditions allow us to develop important talents, such as learning how to corrall your peas onto your fork using nothing but sheer willpower (and occasionally a knife). For this reason, I have been forced to decide that peas have been placed on our planet Earth for the sole purpose of assessing endurance.

And God forbid you ever give your opinion. How many times have we experienced a situation in which our friend or peer asks for our absolutely-honest be-as-brutal-as-you-need-to-be critique? I'm not advocating cruelty towards singing performances or anything, but if it's not that good, people very rarely say so. That is not to say that I do the Right Thing all the time. I am somewhat genetically incapable of telling somebody that they cannot sing or paint or whatever - not that you should necessarily say so in so many words, but still. I have no problem with offering advice, but I always phrase it in the kindest way possible, often to the point where it's to a fault or isn't alters the validity of the advice.

But hey, you know, we're people. Making up stupid rules . . . that's what we do. :)

BEDAZZLING QUESTION TIME!
From Alex: "What kind of sports to you like to watch/play?"
Well, Alex, you have posed a very interesting question. The fact of the matter is, I cannot play sports.
Oh, I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. I've doing my time swinging the racket in PE, only to find that my racket actually repels tennis balls. It's the only logical reason to explain why my hand-eye coordination is only tiptoe-steps away from becoming a physical disability.
I suppose my favorite sport is running. I'm no track and field star, but I can run well enough. I find that it can be anywhere from relaxing to a faaabulous way of releasing frustration or energy. And, you know, it's good to know how to run in case the zombie apocalypse strikes in our lifetime . . . which it very well might.
I enjoy watching ice hockey. I find their system of "checking," i.e. periodically slamming each other into walls, to be quite amusing. I generally don't like watching violent sport-like activities, such as boxing or wrestling, but
Also, I like watching gymnastics, dance, and ice-skating. Just because they are more artistic and have more variety, as opposed to the "squat-run-tackle-pause-get extremely angry and tick off the reff-resume game-repeat" technique that is so popular in (American) football.

I don't know if we should do questions where we all answer one question (i.e., Rena and I both would answer Alex's question) or if I should do a new one . . . I suppose I shall think of a different question, just to give your more options. This one will be filled with excitement beyond your wildest dreams because there is a little scenario that accompanies it and it also directly pertains to your survival:

Say the year is 2012. The month? December. The day? The 5th. Yes, that's right . . . according to many people, the world will end in exactly 7 days on 12/12/12. Obviously, since you cannot stop the motion of the ocean and you cannot stop the beat, you cannot stop the destruction of Earth either. Obviously, this knowledge will cause you to live in fear **, to dread every moment that you are alive, yet you desperately want to not die. However, a Magical Alien Genie (the "alien" reference possibly foreshadowing how the world will end?) bursts out of a Glinda-the-goodish-witch-esque bubble and grants you one final wish . . . with limitations. You see, the only option for your only wish is as follows: The apocalypse is coming. How do you want the world to end?

Renata, I'll see you on the morrow. :)

- Fridayactric Vita

* if you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule, stick to the status quoooo
** despite what the optimistic fools who say "if I was going to die tomorrow, I would live my last day in utter bliss and solve world hunger!" claim, we all know that we would be freaking out, not doing our one last Happy Dance . . . if we are being honest, which we are.