My Christmas-y Film Career

As I noted via Twitter, I'm sitting on my couch beside the lit up Christmas tree watching vampires battle it out with werewolves in a scantily clad fashion. A new Christmas tradition or just a nightmare? I'm not entirely sure.

I don't like these kind of movies. I feel like I'm discriminating against a wide variety of movies when I say that and I'm sure there's some good stuff in there but I'm not really into the fighting, violence and explosions kind of stuff. And so I sit here on the far side of the room on the alone time couch listening to the Pirate Radio soundtrack (currently Elenore by The Turtles). Things could be worse :)

I'm going to share an anecdote, or rather a story or experience from my past, because I finally can remember something suitable! This is a remarkable thing. Consider it a special present, if you will.

When I was a tad younger, perhaps four years ago, I signed up as an extra for an agency in Vancouver. This is movie industry speak for me having an agreement with a company that when a movie calls them and needs people to walk around in the background of a movie they will call me. Maybe. If I fit the description of what the movie people need. My friend's dad had done it once or twice and so we went in and got a picture taken and then filled out forms which were promptly shoved in an ominously large filing cabinet.

Quite a while later, we received a call and were soon scheduled for the next two days to show up at a field and run down a hill waving donuts. It was a British commercial (still can't understand why they filmed it *here*) for apple sauce in a pocket which you squeeze into your mouth like a canteen. Those British people sure are funny. I wonder if the product took off.

That was the first job and then there was something in a carnival for a television show called The Dead Zone where I had to dress up like a kid from the 50's and hold a balloon in front of some guy's face. I was also in RV which had Robin Williams and Jojo and also that boy who was in Bridge to Terebithia and The Vampire's Assistant but that scene didn't make it into the movie so don't watch it or anything because it's relatively bad.

But what I wanted to bring up actually relates to Christmas. Fancy that. Have you heard of a movie called Deck the Halls? No? That's okay, no one really has. You're more likely to have heard of Danny DeVito or Matthew Brodderick, both of whom were in said movie. I was also in the movie, which was filmed fifteen minutes away from my house--in the summer.

In case you haven't seen it and are wondering what it is about, I will tell you. It is an idiotic story about two family's who feel the need to compete in everything Christmas related from the lights on their houses to the local skating competition.

For this pathetic attempt of a movie, I donned a heavy winter coat, gloves and a hat to stand around a skating rink and cheer for the racers. It was really hot.

I sometimes pay attention to extras in the movies because often you can find them doing ridiculous things like having over exaggerated conversations or cheering weirdly excitedly at something you shouldn't be all too excited about unless you are mentally unsound. (Can you be unsound?) Yet at the same time I don't shrug them off as bad actors because they really are instructed to act like that. If you don't look like you're actually talking and gesticulating and laughing and smiling, someone will tell you to. So there. Don't blame the extras. Just focus on the actors and leave them to their little job.

The best part of an acting gig has to be the food. They really pack those tents with snacks. Keep the talent happy. Yum.

That's the end. Happy Christmas. Don't be obnoxious about your lights. Regardless of whether or not Danny DeVito's house could be seen from space at the end of the movie he was still a pathetic and corny little shit. Accept it. By the way, if you feel like helping me out, I'm trying to get Happy Christmas to catch on. Reasons you should do this are 1. Merry is getting lame after all these years and 2. It's just so Harry Potter. Harry would totally wish you a Happy Christmas.