Math, That Well-Known Killer of Dreams

Math makes me feel so incompetent.

About half of my class is made up of freshman, which isn't a bad thing, except that most of them are better at math than I am. As a sophomore taking Algebra II, I'm technically one grade level ahead for math; however, so many sophomores take Algebra II that it's almost considered on-level. I believe the county is trying to get Algebra I to be the new on-level course for eighth graders sometime in the near future.

Not that I want to hinder eighth graders' ability to learn, but I hope this doesn't happen before I graduate from high school. I'm not great at math, and it gives me a little bit of confidence to know that I'm technically advanced.

Math highlights one of my key faults, really. When I get frustrated with something I don't like (math, chemistry, and the like in particular) I tend to procrastinate, put little effort into trying to work it out, or give up all together. It's not a good way to handle things, but I don't know how to force myself to persevere. I guess there comes a time when you simply have to suck it up and just do it.

I wish I was in a slower-moving math class, sometimes. This wouldn't work too well in practice, because a) there's too much material to cover and b) we'd inevitably end up spending most of our time on the few units I have little to no trouble with, but it seems more comfortable in theory. The sad thing is, I'm only entering the third week of school, most of our math so far is little beyond review, and I'm already struggling. I should get help, but I hate asking teachers to go over material with me individually (because it seems so awkward, and because I always feel like I'll be seen as severely academically challenged if I still don't understand how to do it after asking them).

I know I'm not stupid; I do pretty darn well in most of my classes. Algebra and Chemistry, though, those two kill me. If I could stop doing math and math-oriented science classes, I'd like school so much better.

When I consider my interests and academic strengths as compared to the so-called "larger picture," I get somewhat discouraged. I want to have a career that will both help people and interest me, and to be frank, I have no idea what I'd be good at. My dearest aspiration is to become a Young Adult author, but there's no guarantee that will ever happen and I need a job before (or even in addition to) that. A doctor seems out (too much pressure and my noted lack of logical skills) and I think I'd end up hating a career in law (even though I love debating and mock trials). I have to idea what I'm going to do with my life, and that's frightening; I know that most people change their mind, majors, and careers many times, but everybody seems to have some sort of vaguely realistic goal except for me.

Rena, I'd rather be a Ninja, hands-down. C'mon, Ninjas are freaking silent assassins. They've captured my heart.

What math classes are you guys in? Are they considered "advanced" in your school system, or even to you personally?