I hope you don't mind me talking about this, but it's just - overwhelming. I literally just found out that a girl from my school died this evening. I believe she was hit by a car a few days ago and had been unconcious in the hospital since then. She was a grade above me and I didn't know her at all - I'd only vaguely heard her name because she'd ran for president or something last year - but it still... wow. That's all I can say. It's just... wow.
I don't want to give out her name; it's not my place to spread the news, if you can understand that. Maybe I sound like I'm just jumping on the sympathy bandwagon, but it doesn't feel like that to me. I have friends who were friends with her and I honestly can't imagine how they must feel right now. I can't imagine how her family must feel. She had a sister and a brother and parents, she was on the school's soccer team. A prayer vigil was held for her, and I kind of felt like "Yeah, of course she'll make it." It sort of makes me realize how much we take for granted... we have doctors and hospitals and everything, but they can't save everybody. It seems so unfair. For it to happen to somebody in my school, to somebody who is, however distantly, connected to me, it's awful. I feel like everybody comes together, somehow. It's a big school, and half of us don't want to be there most of the time, but it's our school, and no matter how much we fail - no matter how many times our football team loses (it's a lot) we still come to watch their games, we still wear our school sweaters when it's cold. Maybe it's stupid, but it's like we lost a member of our family. A distant relative, yes, but somebody who belonged to us. Somebody who was our friend, or could have been our friend if we'd known her; somebody who was kind of like us. It's awful, I honestly feel like crying. I mean, I never met her, and I still feel this way. I would hate to be anyone who was close to her right now. Selfish, maybe, but - wow. That word again, but it's just disturbing. I feel so sorry for her. I don't know if she's in heaven, I don't know if heaven exists, but for her sake, I hope it does. Honestly, she didn't deserve this. Nobody does.
I'm sorry for rambling, I'm sorry this is short, but I don't feel like I can blog for reals right now. <3
3 comments:
Death is weird like that. You never know how to feel. I'd like to think this awkwardness happens to everyone especially when it's kind of a surprise.
*"I'm sorry" or "Rest in Peace" just seems like a terrible thing to say in my opinion. I'm against those phrases, but this is where they'd go anyway.*
Yeah. It's hard to know what to say to people who were close to her. Everything seems so shallow, even when it's meant to be sincere. I do feel sad, but I'm sure it's nothing compared to her family.
I know what you mean about seeming insincere. "I'm sorry" must get so tiresome to hear day after day, and maybe the person really means it, but what difference does it make? No matter how many people are sorry it doesn't mean the person's absence will be less remarkable.
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