The Key Word(z)

Outside and I are in a spat. This is due to Outside playing with my mind. It's device: the weather.

Yesterday, I was taken on a magical mystery tour and ended up outside in a park. A really big one. Stanley Park. Outside decided it would be really hilarious to make it rain buckets for every second I was in its clutches, and then stop raining the moment I stepped indoors. Outside is trying to trick me into becoming a hermit. I don't know what my retaliation will be. Clearly, I can't just stay inside; that's what it wants. I have to think outside the box. Any ideas on how I should strike back?

***

I have some advice: don't plan things. That sounds like bad advice. Maybe you shouldn't listen to it. Still, spontaneity is fun. I don't like saying I'm going to do this (like I did on Twitter a few days ago) because when you get around to the anticipated activity, it isn't as awesome as it seems. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it's just like, "uh, okay, why was I looking forward to this?"

I did it anyway. Just remind me before I make promises again.

***

So below are some of the searches that brought people to our blog. Most of our visitors come from links (Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, Google) and the searches can be a little strange. As I was looking at them, I found myself wondering why people where typing these things into Google. Like, whuh? Here you are...

The first few are not very funny. You've got people who Googled 'ravingpersuasions'(53 of 'em) and 'going bovine'. You'll be pleased to know that if you put 'going bovine spoilers' in the Google box, we are the first link to come up. That, my friends, is an achievement. The best part is that we didn't even post spoilers. The post was sans spoilers. I think the searcher must have gone home disappointed.

• "mind reading internet" - If this blog is successful at all in this respect, I don't need to anything further on the subject.
• "person microwaving their cat" - Okay, I will admit it, my cat can be a bit angsty/moody/psycho sometimes, but I've never tried to microwave him. That's wrong.
• "phobia of pointy objects"
• "psychopath" - I'm offended. I'm wracking my brain or possibly racking my brain for any memory of us writing about psychopaths. I might've made a reference to my cat once or twice, but I can't believe Google would betray us like this.
• "revolutionary war sarcasm" Whuh?
• "round pointy objects" I think this search signifies that we need to clear up the definition of a pointy object. Google is being completely unhelpful. This is the only web definition of pointy it has: "pointed in shape, having a point or points". What if I didn't even know what a point was. This is no help. The only object that comes it mind is one of those little rubber earring things that is a spherical object with rubber pointy bits. I wonder what the searcher was looking for.
• "understand sarcasm" I don't think this kind of thing can be taught. You either understand it, or you don't. And if you don't, I'm sorry. Please go away.
• "vancouver food" Interesting, I didn't know we had a food. I wonder if it contains food.
• "well-known killer" Again, the only thing that comes to mind is my cat.

How do you feel about these?

Q: Do you have your own computer?

A: Yes! I have a PC, and I'm in debt to my mother because of it. I really have to get a job. For those about to get their computer: be prepared to need your own personal computer for the rest of your life. If I had to go back to sharing a computer with my family, I might spontaneously combust. No one wants that.

Q: What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

A: I would win the lottery. Damnit, I'm underage. Maybe I'd get a job at the library. Or maybe I'd do something big like cure cancer, or end poverty. Probably the last one.

Q: If Robert Pattinson randomly walked up to you and struck up a conversation, what would you do?